Smear the beard…..with shit.

So the smear campaign against beards is upon us. I keep coming across these articles like this one that makes the claim, (without reference to an actual study,) that beards contain more germs and bacteria than a toilet, that is before your uncle Andy comes over for his morning coffee and bowel expulsion.

The most glaring mistake in this smear campaign is that they don’t make a note of where all that poop and bacteria would go if you didn’t have a beard. That’s right ladies and ladies with adams apples. Right into your mouth.

This shortsightedness leads me to speculate about the origin of this smear campaign. Like some beardless sap who had his dream girl whisked away from him at the hands of a much more handsome and healthy man again and again only to lash out because his face is stuck in prepubescence and now the only thing he can do is literally eat, breath, and talk shit.

 

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