After months in Gitmo Bay I was finally able to hustle my was out using only a toothpick and some dental floss, (Those guards have some really bad teeth,) only to find myself in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. My time away was certainly my darkest hour, but during that time I was imprisoned with a stoic of the highest order. He taught me to rely only on myself and do what is right no matter what. He also taught me to drink my own piss and to use my beard as a filter. At the time I found some of his teachings odd but his survival techniques will serve me well in this new dystopia. I hope to see you all soon, that is if its not to laaaaaaarrrrggg……….